July 31, 2012
July 28, 2012
satu hal yang akhir-akhir ini menetap di kepala.
pernyataan "yang penting sudah berusaha, apapun hasilnya serahkan sama Allah SWT".
setiap orang yang bilang kalimat ini, apakah mereka sudah benar-benar berserah diri?
apa mereka sudah berbekal rasa ikhlas diawal jalan?
apa tujuan mereka semata-mata memang untuk-Nya?
bukan untuk menggurui, tapi karena saya sendiri seringkali mengatakan kalimat itu. baguslah, jika hasil memang seperti yang kita inginkan.
tapi terkadang, ada saja yang ketika mendapatkan hasil yang tidak seperti yang diinginkan itu malah kemudian mengeluh.
coba saja aku berbuat ini, coba saja aku tidak berbuat itu.
bukankah kau bilang kau sudah menyerahkan semuanya kepada-Nya?
July 24, 2012
so, i had this task many months ago. it's figurine dossier. it's been awhile since i ever said 'dossier' lol. here is the story, today well yesterday i packed all unnecessary stuffs--you can call it trash-- in my room. i had a big pile of papers and files on the cabinet that i really had to get rid of. because of the dusts and mosquitos y'know? i opened the dossiers's files one by one and i took a picture of 'em. well what i'm going to show you are some of my figurine dossier's pictures which i really like. because in this task we did a lot of drawings--and i enjoy drawing so much--. i did some editing on the few picture but i'm also gonna show you the non-edit version of it.
July 23, 2012
i have been reading 2 Agatha Christie's books for this week. Murder in Mesopotamia and The Pale Horse.
first of all i really love reading mistery books. i'd like to know how the things work in crime scene and stuff. the feeling of being the criminal, the victims, the pressure, the fear. they are my things. but when it has something to do with blood or mutilation :| sorry gotta go~
do you like some spoiler? tehee. guess nope. the thing that really attached to my mind is the saying from one of the character in Pale Horse. i even marked the page.
"Crime is not something out of the ordinary, but even less human. Your criminal is a person who wants to be important, but he will never be important because he will always be less humane."
it got me thinking. crime is not unusual. its an usual thing that be done by less humane human. okay, lets being honest. everyone must had done 'crime', at least once. no question. but the thing is, is the crime we'd done hurt people physically? or did we steal things from them physically? what we know as crime is something that can be seen. the law is exist and inevitable. but, what do we get if our feeling is the thing that got hurt? is the one who did that could be called as criminal?
hurting one's feeling could be explained as 1. she/he is being less humane to the other, or 2. she/he is being too humane. am i wrong?
being humane is about to feel the emotions, whether its happy, sad, shy, mad, flattered, angry, upset, anxious, etc. we cant tell that is wrong to be mad or even sad. its just the timing. when your friend is sad, you cant be act joyfull. at least not in front of him/her. being understanding. if everyone is understanding to each other, i bet there is no crime on the earth. i think the feeling of understanding is the most human of all feelings. because from being understanding, you could reach every kind of people's emotions and feel it by yourself.
im not a good writer, i cant write things poetically. is that even a word? poetically? but i really want to say that there would be no war and crime. because understanding is the most human feeling that could be felt even from a less humane person.
July 18, 2012
type.... erase... thats what i did. i feel kind of lonely these days. not because i had no friend to talk with, i do. i have a lot of them. its just something, a thing that you couldnt find easily in neighborhood.
something youre probably going to think about when youre alone. right. partner. partner for life, for sure.
relationship is always a stuff that is hard to built for me. you know, meeting new people, get to know each other. its hard for some people (its me). its like, im pulling myself to a space that is just me and myself who live inside. i dont want anyone to interfere or bothering me. i just want to be alone.
its very hard for me to say it but i was thinking that its totally normal, if i want to spend my life by myself. whats partner? husband? boyfriend? pffft. i dont need them. i had my family, friends, my God. i dont want anybody else.
it seems like i had another 'me' inside. first is the 'romantic' one.
the one who always caring the other, the kind one, the friendly one, the one who likes to share everything with everyone, the one who craving for something called attention or-love-.
the second one is the'ignorant' one.
the cold one, the i-dont-care-what-youre-doing, the one who likes criminality, or i should say, 'she' likes to think deeply about why and how does crime works. 'she' always be inside of me, i mean, it works as thoughts. i never discuss the thoughts with anyone before. 'she' likes philosophy and things that involved mind things. mind freak. but its better than a psycho. 'she' doesnt like mean things like blood. she likes the psychology, what happens in the criminal mind.
now i probably scared you but im just telling what i tought. dont you realize that my post is always different at the top and bottom part. ya its probably because my left and right brain are too far apart but both still connected to me tightly.