July 18, 2012

Black & White

type.... erase... thats what i did. i feel kind of lonely these days. not because i had no friend to talk with, i do. i have a lot of them. its just something, a thing that you couldnt find easily in neighborhood.  

something youre probably going to think about when youre alone. right. partner. partner for life, for sure.

relationship is always a stuff that is hard to built for me. you know, meeting new people, get to know each other. its hard for some people (its me). its like, im pulling myself to a space that is just me and myself who live inside. i dont want anyone to interfere or bothering me. i just want to be alone.

its very hard for me to say it but i was thinking that its totally normal, if i want to spend my life by myself. whats partner? husband? boyfriend? pffft. i dont need them. i had my family, friends, my God. i dont want anybody else. 


it seems like i had another 'me' inside. first is the 'romantic' one.
the one who always caring the other, the kind one, the friendly one, the one who likes to share everything with everyone, the one who craving for something called attention or-love-. 

the second one is the'ignorant' one.
the cold one, the i-dont-care-what-youre-doing, the one who likes criminality, or i should say, 'she' likes to think deeply about why and how does crime works. 'she' always be inside of me, i mean, it works as thoughts. i never discuss the thoughts with anyone before. 'she' likes philosophy and things that involved mind things. mind freak. but its better than a psycho. 'she' doesnt like mean things like blood. she likes the psychology, what happens in the criminal mind.

now i probably scared you but im just telling what i tought. dont you realize that my post is always different at the top and bottom part. ya its probably because my left and right brain are too far apart but both still connected to me tightly.